May 12th

Today is my father's birthday. He was 4 days younger than my mother and never let her forget it. It is also their wedding anniversary. The day they got married was Mother's Day, too. That was alot of cards in 1 week!
Pop died June 10th, 1983. Hard living took a toll on him. At 65 he was an old man. My fondest memories are of the two of us working together on a well drilling rig. He taught me how to work hard and enjoy it. He also taught me how to install and service hangovers. Although I swore I'd never be like him, it's obvious that we were cut from the same cloth. Today I don't think that's a bad thing. He had his faults but I know how hard he tried. Love you, Pop, happy birthday.

Signs of spring and Mama

My mother would have been 91 today. She died just over 2 years ago. She was always thrilled, even giddy, about springtime. I am remembering her as I admire the beautiful activity in my yard. Everything is turning green. The apple and pear trees are in full bloom. The bluebird I mentioned in an earlier post has found his mate. Yesterday I peeked into their house and they have 2 babies! The oriole is not around today but I saw him both Wednesday and Thursday. We also have several mockingbirds, which I had never seen before this year. The hummingbirds are back, too. Mom got so excited over this stuff. She loved the lilacs, forget-me-nots, violets, even the dandelions. Lindsey and I were bird watching this morning and it felt like we weren't alone. Miss you, Mama, Happy birthday!

Four dead in Ohio

I have never forgotten this date. When I was 15, four students were shot and killed by National Guard troops at an anti-war protest at Kent State University in Kent, Ohio. Nine others were wounded.
I remember wondering who's army I should be more afraid of.
Don't get me wrong, I'm as patriotic as they come. But this was senseless. The guardsmen (who joined to keep from being drafted and sent to VietNam themselves) were more scared than the protesters. No one in the crowd even thought the guns were loaded. Just a terrible tragedy.
Every year I remember the dead and pray something like this never happens again.

Experience, strength, and hope

Some people think that because I no longer drink that I won a battle against alcohol. Nothing could be further from the truth. I fought the battle alright, but lost miserably. Only when I declared myself the loser could I have my life back. There was no victory, only surrender.
I was surfing the blogosphere for bloggers who share common interests with myself and came across the attached video.
Craig's story is not alot different from my own. If you know people like us, you know it's real. Here's a few laughs about a very serious subject.
Thanks for sharing, Craig.

Camera shy

I got pretty close to a bluebird in our yard yesterday. We have 2 bird boxes on the north lawn and a beautiful male has built a nest in one of them and sits on top waiting for his mate. I walked to within 10 feet of him and he didn't move so I thought I'd get the camera and share this gorgeous sight with you. Nothin' doin', the little fellow is obviously camera shy. He would not stay put for a picture. He is back today, patiently waiting for the female to arrive.
A tree swallow has claimed the other box and is very bold. He does not flee from anything, and will chase any bird or other animal (including humans) that comes near.

Is it over?

Winter, that is. I sure hope so. It certainly feels like it. Finally! We did lots of outdoor stuff this weekend. Jennifer and I pruned 15 apple trees and 3 pear trees, I cut down alot of brush, raked a little, and hauled branches to the compost heap. Lindsey "helped", too.
The crocuses are blooming, the lilac bush has buds on it, dafodills are sprouted, the song birds are back. I think it's really spring!
Now all I have to do is cut alot more brush, pick up the leaves I didn't get last fall, clean up a winter's worth of dog s#%*, trim the willow trees, plant a garden, set up Lindsey's sand box, mow and mow and mow... oh,yeah, then there's 6 or 8 cords of firewood to cut for next winter.
I love my yard and I love working in it. As long as I'm here, I'll never be bored

Night shift

I did my first overnight at the halfway house last night. 11 to 7. I worked overnights at an inpatient rehab a long time ago and hated it. But that was full time, this is one night a week, I think I can handle that. The structure is pretty lax at this place, especially on weekends, so the first couple hours I spent playing pool and BS-ing with the residents. The rest of the night was really boring. I made a couple of head counts, read a book, and tried to stay awake. Staying awake was the hardest part. I ended up making a pot of coffee at 5 AM. My relief came in at 10 till 7 and I went home shortly after. I took a couple of 2 hour naps during the day. I'm still a little tired but will stay up so I can sleep tonight.
Tomorrow is my first day home with Lindsey. We have a Dr.'s appointment in Albany with her pediatric pulmonologist in the morning. After that we're touring another daycare on the way home. Jennifer goes to work after that and then it's Lindsey and Daddy!!

In memory of Mom

"Look at that old photograph, is it really you? Smilin' like a baby full of dreams"

"smilin, aint so easy now"

It's really hard not to be sad writing this post. Mom's been gone two years today. I've been thinking about her alot this week. We were angry with each other alot years ago. She wasn't a perfect parent, I wasn't a perfect son. Neither of us could accept that. She mellowed with age...I got sober, God brought us back together. Part of my recovery program is making amends to people I've hurt. I had no idea how much I hurt my parents until I had a child of my own. I knew I pissed her off, and at the time, I was ok with that, but I had no idea the pain I had caused her. When I was going through the same kind of pain over my own son, I understood. We were able to talk about it, cry about it, laugh about it, let it go, and forgive each other. When she died, I had no regrets about our relationship.

"nothin's simple as it seems"

Mom was one of the first to see Lindsey when we brought her home. She knew about the situation with my son and Jessica. Not the gory details but enough. She asked right away, "Are you going to keep her?" We didn't really know at the time how it was going to turn out. When she was leaving she said to my wife, " I hope you keep her!" She really loved that baby. I"m so glad they had a little time together. Lindsey recognizes Granny's picture. I know she doesn't remember her but she'll always know who she was.

We kept her, Mom

Legal B & E

With the help of a Deputy Sheriff and my 30 month old daughter, I just broke into my own house. I had just gotten home with Lindsey. I put her in the house and was in the mudroom feeding the dogs when I heard a faint "click". She had turned the deadbolt and locked me out. My keys were in my coat pocket which was in the house. I tried to get her to unlock it but her little fingers weren't strong enough. I called my wife, (she was on her way to Syracuse, sans key) who told me to call the police. I apologetically told the dispatcher what had happened and a patrol was sent. Eventually we decided that if I could get into the screen porch, I could open the sliding glass door. I popped out a screen and climbed in on the porch but the door was secured with a board in the bottom track. I knocked on the glass and got Lindsey's attention, "Pick up the stick, honey. Please, for Daddy, pick up the stick for Daddy." And she did. I was in. The deputy just smiled and said "Bye bye Lindsey", shook my hand and left. The whole thing was over in about a half hour but time crawls when I'm panicking. It seemed like half a day. No harm, no foul, Lindsey is scattering her toys around the house as if nothing happened at all. My little accomplice, what a handful she's going to be!

Easily replaced

I was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly things went at the Social Security Administration office today. A prospective employer asked for my social security card and I could not find it. Jennifer printed an application for me from the website which I filled out and brought to the Cronin Rd office. The instructions said I needed a birth record, passport, and driver's license. I have no passport and had given my birth certificate to another agency. I was prepared for a bureaucrat to tell me I needed more paperwork (and drive to Corinth and pay 10 bucks for another birth certificate). Instead, the gentleman only wanted my license and the completed application. He said the new card should be in my mailbox in 7 to 10 days. He also gave me a letter stating that I had applied and a new card was in transit to show the prospective employer. Now I know the process is supposed to be this simple, but, in my experience, it rarely is.
Kudos to the Queensbury district office!

Afterward, I went to get a haircut and I told the barber that I was looking for work. She told me if it ever got to where I needed a haircut and had no money, come in anyway and she'd give me one. I don't expect to have to take her up on it but I thought it was a very nice offer. My business card is on her bulletin board and she told me she would steer people to me. I'll take all the help I can get. Thank's, Marylee!

Lucky 13?

My son was born 28 years ago today. It was also a Friday. I said then that Friday the 13th was my lucky day. Our relationship is strained, to put it mildly. I have taken him to rehab twice, visited him in jail countless times, had him arrested once, filed for custody of and adopted his child. Although this was all painful I have absolutely no doubt that I've done the right things.
I love my son very much but there are times when I don't like him at all. I want to be proud of him but he makes it pretty tough. There is hope, however. I, too, was troubled and in trouble in my younger days. My poor choices made life difficult, to say the least. When I was sick and tired of being sick and tired I started making better decisions. It took a long time but my life got better, much better. With time and effort he can do the same.

Happy birthday, Mark. I'll continue to love and pray for you.

P.S. I also met his mother on a Friday the 13th. That turned out not so lucky, but that's a whole other story.

Genius or what?

Please bear with a proud father bragging about his very bright little girl. At supper tonight I told her someone was coming to visit her tomorrow and asked if she knew who. "corin?" she asked. "No, not Corin", I said. "Mark and Jessie!" she exclaimed. "Right, Mark and Jessie are coming to see you."
Mark and Jessie are her biological parents. She sees them once a month. We hadn't told her they were coming, she hasn't asked about them, but at two years old, she has figured it out.
She was playing with a number/letter shape sorter and could not only put the objects in the right holes, she correctly ID'd each letter and number. She's TWO!!
She can sing along with a kid's CD, carry a tune, get all the lyrics right, and name the artist. (she gets that from me)
She knows Dan Zanes and Laurie Berkner by sight.
She can identify the sound of a banjo, violin, piano, and harmonica.
She can identify a song by the introduction. Did I mention she's two?

This is her "magic flute". She told me "It's wind, it blows the leaves around." I don't know if Lindsey is advanced or not, but I am really impressed. Beauty, brains, and talent. Where did THAT come from?

The day the music died

It's been 50 years since three early rock'n'roll stars were killed in a plane crash near Lake Clear, Iowa. Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and J.P. Richardson(The Big Bopper), were on their way to a show in Moorehead MN when they crashed just after take off. The pilot, Roger Peterson, also died.

These three musicians were pioneers of modern music. Peggy Sue, LaBomba, Chantilly Lace... all masterpieces of early rock and roll, helped spark my appreciation for the music I love today. I was 4 years old when this happened. I don't remember hearing about it until ten years later. I recently saw a documentary about it and was stricken with both grief and awe. These kids left a great legacy. Many careers began when their's ended.

Don McLean immortalized the event in his song, American Pie.... "I can't remember if I cried when I read about his widowed bride, but something touched me deep inside the day the music died."

The last place I looked

Yes, that's where I found my keys. They had been missing for a couple of weeks. I have a spare set but for the life of me could not figure out where I had misplaced the everyday ones.
I was snowblowing the driveway this morning and happened to put my hand in the pocket of my coveralls. There were the keys!
I hadn't worn them since the last time I cleared the driveway. Now I can stash the spares back where they belong until my next brain cramp. Hope I can remember where that is!

Hero at The Egg

That's right...Kris Kristofferson, legendary singer, song writer, and my personal hero will be in Albany, NY on February 21 at The Empire Center at The Egg. I will probably not go as I have seen this show twice already. Once was at this venue. I was in the fourth row center but there is not a bad seat in the house. It's a very intimate setting, one man, one guitar, one harmonica. Pure, simple Kristofferson. This is a show worth seeing. The man is 73 years old, who knows how much longer he will be touring? Hopefully for a while. I'd love to take Lindsey to see him when she's a little older.

Go break a heart, Kris!

got MLK?

How fitting it is that Barack Obama is being sworn in the same week as the reverend Dr. Martin Luther King's birthday celebration. Obama's inauguration is the culmination of the slain civil rights leader's vision.
I was told as a child that a "colored" person would never be president. I have never been so pleased to discover that the people I looked up to were wrong. These historic events show how far we have come as a nation. I am truly proud to be an American! "Ain't you come a long way down this old road"

children of all ages

We had a gathering of friends and family at our house yesterday. My wife, daughter, myself and about 14 guests. Ages ranged from 80 something down to 18 months. Everybody had a good time, I think. I had a blast. We enjoyed yummy appetizers and desserts, played games, reminisced, and enjoyed each other's company. And laughed ALOT. Much to be grateful for.

How cold is it?

I got a new indoor/outdoor thermometer for Christmas . It has an electronic sensor that goes outside and sends a signal to the digital unit inside. We put the sensor on the screen porch on the south side of the house. Apparently the concrete slab floor generates a little heat. Yesterday morning it said it was 8 degrees. By all accounts on the television and internet it was -5. My wife said "What's the difference, It's COLD!" I moved the sensor to the other side of the house yesterday. It now reports 17 below zero. That's gone up a degree in the last hour. I went out this morning to the shed for firewood and I have to agree with Jennifer, It's COLD!

Sunday Morning Comin' Down

Johnny Cash said this song literally fell out of the sky for him. June woke him from a nap to tell him there was a helicopter landing in their yard. A young Kris Kristofferson handed him a piece of paper with this song on it. Cash recorded it and it won song of the year. Kris said he hasn't done a real day's work since.

This is Kris' arrangement. Somebody made a decent video out of it, I found it on Youtube.

I played it in Schuylerville (see my seven).

sick day

Lindsey woke up with a fever today and could not go to daycare. Jennifer has a work emergency and could not stay home so Daddy gets to play hookey with his favorite little girl. There is truly nothing else I'd rather be doing. She is quietly entertaining herself with her toys in the living room and does not appear to be in any discomfort. What a trooper! I adore this child.

We didn't plan to have kids. We actually planned not to. God's plan was different. And better.
I get another chance at parenting. Lindsey gets a loving, somewhat normal home, Jennifer gets to experience motherhood (she's a natural!). Everybody wins.

I called my customer to tell him I could not come in today and he was very understanding. Too bad I have to work at all. The only down side is financial. It doesn't matter, though, because we are truly blessed. Gotta love God for this!

My seven

Ok, I'll be a good sport. Jennifer tagged me for this silly game. I enjoyed reading yours so I'll play along.

1. I proposed to my first grade teacher. Her name was Mary-Lou Hayes. I think it was because she resembled my mother. I was 6 OK?

2. I broke my left arm three times. Twice in the third grade (Dr. Snyder took the cast off too soon), once in seventh grade gym class.

3. I could read before I went to kindergarten.

4. I haven't had a drink in 21 years.

5. I was the opening act at a country music festival in Schuylerville, NY in 1997.

6. I was so thin when I was a kid that my family nickname was "skinny".

7. My daughter and my granddaughter are the same person.

I don't have anyone to tag.

Do real men blog?

I've been wanting to start one of these for a while. It seems that all the blogs I read are by women, but I love quiche so what the heck. Thanks to my wife for all her help setting it up as I am a novice on the computer. Hopefully I can improve my skills and have a little fun doing it. Besides, I've always been in touch with my feminine side.