Wednesday, March 11, 2009

In memory of Mom

"Look at that old photograph, is it really you? Smilin' like a baby full of dreams"

"smilin, aint so easy now"

It's really hard not to be sad writing this post. Mom's been gone two years today. I've been thinking about her alot this week. We were angry with each other alot years ago. She wasn't a perfect parent, I wasn't a perfect son. Neither of us could accept that. She mellowed with age...I got sober, God brought us back together. Part of my recovery program is making amends to people I've hurt. I had no idea how much I hurt my parents until I had a child of my own. I knew I pissed her off, and at the time, I was ok with that, but I had no idea the pain I had caused her. When I was going through the same kind of pain over my own son, I understood. We were able to talk about it, cry about it, laugh about it, let it go, and forgive each other. When she died, I had no regrets about our relationship.

"nothin's simple as it seems"
Mom was one of the first to see Lindsey when we brought her home. She knew about the situation with my son and Jessica. Not the gory details but enough. She asked right away, "Are you going to keep her?" We didn't really know at the time how it was going to turn out. When she was leaving she said to my wife, " I hope you keep her!" She really loved that baby. I"m so glad they had a little time together. Lindsey recognizes Granny's picture. I know she doesn't remember her but she'll always know who she was.



We kept her, Mom

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5 comments:

  1. Jennifer WMarch 11, 2009 at 10:40 PM

    Beautifully put, Mark. I will nver forget her insistence that Lindsey was right where she belonged. She knew you were the right father.

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  2. AllisonMarch 12, 2009 at 8:53 AM

    Very Beautiful Mark. I know she was smiling and cheering on Adoption Day. She certainly Loved the babies.
    So glad that everything was right between you in the end. That is what matters most.

    We miss you Aunt Helen!

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  3. corinMarch 12, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    You have been so blessed by your hard work at REALLY recovering. I am glad you did that for yourself. Aunt Helen is probably quoting poetry with the angels and smiling down on you all!!

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  4. AnonymousMarch 12, 2009 at 4:27 PM

    Thank you, Mark. My heart has been aching and this helped ease the pain.

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  5. AnonymousMarch 13, 2009 at 8:13 AM

    The "anniversary" dates come with some dread each year, and bring out another flood of memories. We recall the last day, who was there, what was said. It is not lost on me that I have had the honor to witness the passing of my father and your mother. I was remiss in not calling your favorite sister.

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