In memory of Mom

"Look at that old photograph, is it really you? Smilin' like a baby full of dreams"

"smilin, aint so easy now"

It's really hard not to be sad writing this post. Mom's been gone two years today. I've been thinking about her alot this week. We were angry with each other alot years ago. She wasn't a perfect parent, I wasn't a perfect son. Neither of us could accept that. She mellowed with age...I got sober, God brought us back together. Part of my recovery program is making amends to people I've hurt. I had no idea how much I hurt my parents until I had a child of my own. I knew I pissed her off, and at the time, I was ok with that, but I had no idea the pain I had caused her. When I was going through the same kind of pain over my own son, I understood. We were able to talk about it, cry about it, laugh about it, let it go, and forgive each other. When she died, I had no regrets about our relationship.

"nothin's simple as it seems"

Mom was one of the first to see Lindsey when we brought her home. She knew about the situation with my son and Jessica. Not the gory details but enough. She asked right away, "Are you going to keep her?" We didn't really know at the time how it was going to turn out. When she was leaving she said to my wife, " I hope you keep her!" She really loved that baby. I"m so glad they had a little time together. Lindsey recognizes Granny's picture. I know she doesn't remember her but she'll always know who she was.

We kept her, Mom

Legal B & E

With the help of a Deputy Sheriff and my 30 month old daughter, I just broke into my own house. I had just gotten home with Lindsey. I put her in the house and was in the mudroom feeding the dogs when I heard a faint "click". She had turned the deadbolt and locked me out. My keys were in my coat pocket which was in the house. I tried to get her to unlock it but her little fingers weren't strong enough. I called my wife, (she was on her way to Syracuse, sans key) who told me to call the police. I apologetically told the dispatcher what had happened and a patrol was sent. Eventually we decided that if I could get into the screen porch, I could open the sliding glass door. I popped out a screen and climbed in on the porch but the door was secured with a board in the bottom track. I knocked on the glass and got Lindsey's attention, "Pick up the stick, honey. Please, for Daddy, pick up the stick for Daddy." And she did. I was in. The deputy just smiled and said "Bye bye Lindsey", shook my hand and left. The whole thing was over in about a half hour but time crawls when I'm panicking. It seemed like half a day. No harm, no foul, Lindsey is scattering her toys around the house as if nothing happened at all. My little accomplice, what a handful she's going to be!

Easily replaced

I was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly things went at the Social Security Administration office today. A prospective employer asked for my social security card and I could not find it. Jennifer printed an application for me from the website which I filled out and brought to the Cronin Rd office. The instructions said I needed a birth record, passport, and driver's license. I have no passport and had given my birth certificate to another agency. I was prepared for a bureaucrat to tell me I needed more paperwork (and drive to Corinth and pay 10 bucks for another birth certificate). Instead, the gentleman only wanted my license and the completed application. He said the new card should be in my mailbox in 7 to 10 days. He also gave me a letter stating that I had applied and a new card was in transit to show the prospective employer. Now I know the process is supposed to be this simple, but, in my experience, it rarely is.
Kudos to the Queensbury district office!

Afterward, I went to get a haircut and I told the barber that I was looking for work. She told me if it ever got to where I needed a haircut and had no money, come in anyway and she'd give me one. I don't expect to have to take her up on it but I thought it was a very nice offer. My business card is on her bulletin board and she told me she would steer people to me. I'll take all the help I can get. Thank's, Marylee!

Lucky 13?

My son was born 28 years ago today. It was also a Friday. I said then that Friday the 13th was my lucky day. Our relationship is strained, to put it mildly. I have taken him to rehab twice, visited him in jail countless times, had him arrested once, filed for custody of and adopted his child. Although this was all painful I have absolutely no doubt that I've done the right things.
I love my son very much but there are times when I don't like him at all. I want to be proud of him but he makes it pretty tough. There is hope, however. I, too, was troubled and in trouble in my younger days. My poor choices made life difficult, to say the least. When I was sick and tired of being sick and tired I started making better decisions. It took a long time but my life got better, much better. With time and effort he can do the same.

Happy birthday, Mark. I'll continue to love and pray for you.

P.S. I also met his mother on a Friday the 13th. That turned out not so lucky, but that's a whole other story.

Genius or what?

Please bear with a proud father bragging about his very bright little girl. At supper tonight I told her someone was coming to visit her tomorrow and asked if she knew who. "corin?" she asked. "No, not Corin", I said. "Mark and Jessie!" she exclaimed. "Right, Mark and Jessie are coming to see you."
Mark and Jessie are her biological parents. She sees them once a month. We hadn't told her they were coming, she hasn't asked about them, but at two years old, she has figured it out.
She was playing with a number/letter shape sorter and could not only put the objects in the right holes, she correctly ID'd each letter and number. She's TWO!!
She can sing along with a kid's CD, carry a tune, get all the lyrics right, and name the artist. (she gets that from me)
She knows Dan Zanes and Laurie Berkner by sight.
She can identify the sound of a banjo, violin, piano, and harmonica.
She can identify a song by the introduction. Did I mention she's two?

This is her "magic flute". She told me "It's wind, it blows the leaves around." I don't know if Lindsey is advanced or not, but I am really impressed. Beauty, brains, and talent. Where did THAT come from?

The day the music died

It's been 50 years since three early rock'n'roll stars were killed in a plane crash near Lake Clear, Iowa. Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and J.P. Richardson(The Big Bopper), were on their way to a show in Moorehead MN when they crashed just after take off. The pilot, Roger Peterson, also died.

These three musicians were pioneers of modern music. Peggy Sue, LaBomba, Chantilly Lace... all masterpieces of early rock and roll, helped spark my appreciation for the music I love today. I was 4 years old when this happened. I don't remember hearing about it until ten years later. I recently saw a documentary about it and was stricken with both grief and awe. These kids left a great legacy. Many careers began when their's ended.

Don McLean immortalized the event in his song, American Pie.... "I can't remember if I cried when I read about his widowed bride, but something touched me deep inside the day the music died."

The last place I looked

Yes, that's where I found my keys. They had been missing for a couple of weeks. I have a spare set but for the life of me could not figure out where I had misplaced the everyday ones.
I was snowblowing the driveway this morning and happened to put my hand in the pocket of my coveralls. There were the keys!
I hadn't worn them since the last time I cleared the driveway. Now I can stash the spares back where they belong until my next brain cramp. Hope I can remember where that is!